A SICK PRISONER’S PLEA!
POETRY: BY – JOSEPH MAXWELL SPENCER
Autism and sensory impairment
it means nothing to most
How overwhelming it had been
to see myself degenerated day after day
The prison walls, the noise, the alarm, the loudspeakers
The daily occurrences seem normal to most
but I know what I got from it
Anxiety, depression, insomnia,
disorientation, acid reflux, mental dexterity,
hearing and eyesight oversensitivity,
poor memory, inability to concentrate, despondency,
physical coordination problem, exhaustion,
slow-processing speed of information in the brain,
ADHD, paranoia, heartburn, breathlessness, PTSD
I was a regular visitor to prison healthcare,
mental-health, GP, the nurses’ appointments
All tried their best for me but nothing
Prison disability nurses I owe my appreciation
They advocated and pleaded for relief on my behalf
but the power that be was bent on taking me as a victim
Another statistic to be recorded in ‘death in custody’ list
Where else could I have gone for help to heal my symptoms?
Who else could I have called to save my own life?
What else could I have done to have my freedom?
How could an autistic survive in such a noisy environment?
The prison officers, the prison governors, the probation,
the Samaritans on-call, the prisoners’ listeners
I never was sure what I got from them all
All we did was talk and then more talk
My health just got worse day after day
Tics disorders developed into full-blown Tourettes
Oxygen in my blood increases
at every aggravated noise and food ingestion
There is so much a man can take
An innocent man imprisoned to suffer and then to die
Gastro-intestinal symptoms, hyperventilation, fatigue,
body aching, gum disease, sore throat, migraine
chest pains, dried lips, pale skin, mouth ulcers,
stomach rumbling, hiatal-hernia, more difficulty breathing
Don’t blame me for no longer believing
in prison healthcare staff
When they say not to worry about my symptoms
Low mood, mood swings, stress, panic attacks,
sensory over-stimulation, neuronal hyperactivity,
hallucinations, stooping when walking,
falling on my kneels when standing
Adjudications for repeatedly smashing prison properties
Hallucinating act to relieve my own human suffering
The alarm boxes never sounded the same again
From deafening Grrrrrr to humming Eeieieieiei
In my 4 years and 8 months in prison custody
Which equates to 56 months or 1706 days in total
I served more time in basic regime than its standard version
I never got to experience its Enhanced regime
Being regularly bundled and dragged into segregation wing
was a regular occurrence that happened every so often
Just because I am of a male specie
with full-blown testosterone bulging in my veins
does that mean I am immune to mental breakdown?
A benign mole present since my birth suddenly grew in size,
my bum could no longer do its sitting during that episode
being dependent on a wheelchair did not help either
It was a tortuous experience in every possible way imagined
malignant mole causing severe pains and anguish,
desperately at the emergency surgeon’s table for its removal
My skin dropped and saggy
White hair molecules began to grow in my head
with a rapid loss of hair colour
but I was only in my 30’s
Being autistic did not help either
No one seems to care or be bothered
that my disability is mismatched
with my prison environment
A month toward my Court scheduled release from prison
I was served with immigration detention in prison
With the label as a foreign criminal, they say
To live my imprisonment life of illness over again
Is this what life is all about?
Pains and sufferings, humans becoming foes
Non-disclosure of evidence at Immigration Tribunal
Falsification of prosecuting evidence at Criminal trial
Racism, hate crimes, prejudices, biases, jingoism
Foreign nationals accounted for 20% of deaths in prisons
The figures increased between 2015 and 2018
All recorded as self-inflicted deaths, they say
My preventable death in prison was not occurring
Failure in my treatment and my care
Failing to release me to seek my own care
Even when life has a meaning
As it usually has been for me
It seemed pointless to draw on it
A perfect understanding,
of my mental health and emotional pain
somehow encouraged suicidal thoughts without intent
Miscarriage of justice, lies and deceit
The agony of debating
which of my symptoms will finally did me in
Degenerated my body and soul day after day
‘Which one please can someone tell it to me’, I begged
A sick man deserves to know how it will end
If you are to take a man’s life in this cruel way
At least be kind to be bold to tell him how it will end
Innocent man languishing in prison on conjured opinion
Until my body stopped coping with their suffering of me
The noise intoxication to the autistic nervous system
dysregulated the nerves centres in my body beyond recovery
A case of changes in lifestyle-behavioural factors
mismatched with my autistic biochemical genes factors
Gut issues, inflammation, tension headache, joint pain,
constipation, body weaknesses, night sweats,
urinary tract infections, uncontrolled bladder,
bad breaths, and more body-aching
My brain suddenly went in and out of coma
rapidly in a succession of days
Woke up from a coma one day
revealed the extent of the damage
I could no longer walk or stand upright since then
I now use a motorised wheelchair and crutches for mobility
A month later I was eventually released from custody
But It was already too late for my body to recover
from memory loss of some of my past life events
my passion for Accounting and Legal work
could no longer be recalled
A bunch of my work-life skills before prison
departed from my brain’s memory
due to deliberate acts of negligent, intent to kill,
breach of duty, failure in duty of care, recklessness,
deliberate risk of harm, abuse of lawful authority,
malfeasance, misfeasance, nonfeasance,
and deliberate failure to perform all of the feasances,
including failure to render my imprisonment defeasance
Like everything in life, I seek justice to recover my resolve
Everyone should be able to seek legal redress
for an unlawful act
It is an essential part of our rule of law
I had to call on my perpetrators
to celebrate our differences in Court
After all, this was a serious question of life and death
And here I submit my glorious call to history
and respectfully invite the world community
to bear witness to my plea
A sick prisoner’s plea!
END